Throughout all the lands in time, there was never a greater shoemaker than Unitus. What follows is the epic story of the most glorious shoemaker for all time. Praise be to all that Unitus states!
Our story starts long ago as a man searches for the finest shoes in all the land. Across many valleys and over great rivers, he crosses in search of the finest shoes. From town to town, nation to nation, he finds fine shoes, but not the finest of the fine; Until he comes to a new town in a new land far from his homeland. There he finds Unitus awaiting his arrival.
“I hear you have the finest shoes in all the lands, near and far.” The man says to Unitus.
Thus she replies, “My finery is for the worthy.”
The man is taken aback by the brashness of this woman. Who is she to question his worthiness! As he stares at the sandals and shoes and boots before him, the fineness of Unitus’s work overwhelms him and soothes his ego. “Who could be worthy of such fine work?” he concedes. “I am merely from a far off land. How could I be worthy of the finest of your fine?”
Unitus knows of a prophesy by which a man from a far off land would arrive and require the finest of the fine from Unitus. She asks the man a series of questions to ensure he is the one the prophesy spoke of, and indeed the man was he. She goes into her back room and brings forth a pair of boots, the likes of which the world has never seen.
“I present a pair of boots, the likes of which the world has never seen,” she begins. “With these boots, you will press the face of injustice and march upon the bones of the guilty. With these boots, you will raise generation upon generation to stomp out the wicked and unite the world with justice; ruling with mercy everlasting!”
The man, is struck with a vision of power and bowed to Unitus. “With such power, what do you ask in return?”
Unitus states, “You must purchase all your boots from me. That is all I ask.”
Overcome with visions of power and conquest, the man asks Unitus, “With such power, what would prevent me from overtaking you and your shop and setting up my own shoemaker to serve me?”
Unitus smiles and asks, “Whence your might?”
The man pauses for a moment as visions of might and fortune dance before his very eyes. Conquest after conquest, the boots remained unscathed. Surely, there was power in these boots, the man thinks to himself. “With such power, how should I care for these boots?”
“These boots care for themselves.” Unitus immediately replies.
“Surely, there is no such thing as a boot that cares for itself,” the man thinks to himself.
As sure as the thought enters his mind, Unitus pulls a pressed gold medallion from the heel of the boot.
Unitusta states, “Surely, there is such a thing. Wear thee this gold medallion upon your chest. It symbolizes your ordained might to all those you encounter. Lest they be dead by force, they shall comply with your every command.”
The man is doubtful of this promise. Nonetheless, he takes the medallion and places it upon his chest. Next, he places the boots on his feet, and they fit perfectly; as if made just for his very feet. Finally, Unitus gives him praise, to which he pays her fee for the boots.
The very moment the man walks out the door and into the street, he steps in a deposit from a beast on the ground. No sooner can the man look down at his feet does a citizen of the land come upon him and clean his boots of the beast droppings. He thinks to himself: Perhaps Unitus is telling the truth, but this is her hometown!
So, the man sets out to the nearest town. When he arrives from his long walk, his boots are clouded with dust from the ground. No sooner does the man enter the town do two citizens of the land come upon him and clean his boots of the dusting. Next, the elders of the town request the man rid the town of a local drunk who has been harassing the townspeople.
The man finds the drunk and walks him outside the town. He promptly kicks the drunkard with the boot. The drunkard feels the power of the boot and leaves the town to wander in the wilderness.
The man returns to the town with dust upon his boots. Upon arriving, his boots are cleaned and he is given a horse. “You should provide your services through out the whole land!” The elders rejoice.
So, the man rides his horse from town to town, ridding each town of their dissidents and troublemakers; each of them being cast out to the wilderness.
Sometime later, the troublemakers of the wilderness form cohorts. Together, by the six hundreds, they sack and pillaged town after town. The man arrives at a town where his boots are cleaned, and he collects evidence to whereabouts of the marauding troublemakers.
“This time, you will need an army!” the elders declare. “Our very entire fortunes are at stake, and so our very fortunes are at your command! We have already informed Unitus of the need for more boots to be filled by your loyal servants, our fine citizens.”
The man takes the four score of men to Unitus where they are clothed in the finest of fine armory and boots. Unitus ordains each of them for the ages, and the eighty plus one ride their horses in pursuit of the marauding troublemakers.
Upon finding the marauding troublemakers near a lake, the man spreads his band of eighty out into a trio of rows, each a score plus seven. The marauding troublemakers look out upon the small number of the mighty, thinking to themselves that so few are no match for their trouble making. As they glean the battlefield, the gleam from the boot overcomes their sight.
The marauding troublemakers rush in blindly to attack and swear they will wear the boots of the mighty. The troublemakers by the hundreds surge up the middle of the ranks of the boots. As the boots fall back from the middle, the flank of boots strike the temples of of the troublemakers. Three hundred troublemakers slaughtered in one kick with not a loss of a single mighty!
The leader of the troublemakers, Turbidus, looks on in horror as half his army is slaughtered and half of the remaining half charge him to surrender. He orders the half executed, troublemaker upon troublemaker until only 150 plus he remain.
The troublemakers are now exhausted, having wrought trouble upon trouble. But the boots of Unitus feel no such fatigue and rage upon the troublemakers, 151. About to be slain, Turbidus appeals to the man, “Should not we form an alliance such that the grip of Unitus is only slight upon your feet, and I play the scapegoat?”
The man orders the cessation of fighting with just 100 troublemakers plus one breathing. The men of might gather as the troublemakers await their fate.
“We shall agree to your bargain under one condition.” the man says to Turbidus.
“Anything my lord commands, we shall abide.”
“Your allegiance shall be understood when you reduce your numbers to 70 plus one by impalement in the morning sun.”
So, the troublemakers cast lots and the 30 unfortunates are impaled the next morning. The remaining 70 plus one meet with the men of might and arrange to limit and coordinate their destruction in the land in accordance with the men of might. Daily: minor trouble shall be mostly ignored by the men of might to provide the troublemakers with sustenance. Monthly: larger trouble to allow the men of might to gain from the citizens a sense of needed protection. Each trio of decades: a major trouble to ensure the men of might gain unending commitment from the citizens of the land, lest they be destroyed by trouble.
“And what shall be the sign for generations to come that one is a troublemaker and one is of mighty?” asks the man.
“We shall reject cleaning upon your boots,” declares Turbidus.
“And what of a citizen who cleans not our boots by will?” replies the man.
“Better for subjugation, my lord.” Turbidus says with a smile returned by the man.
The groups part and go about their plan with the men of Turbidus growing in number and the men of might growing greatly in number and bounty.
One day, the man, now old in age, is meeting with Unitus to pickup more boots for his growing number of men. “Your boots have given me great glory, Unitus! Our partnership shall last through generations. My successor is with me outside. I shall bring him in to meet you.”
“Do you imply you achieve success by cheating me of our agreement?” Unitus chastises the man.
“My ways have brought you much fame and fortune!” Exclaims the man.
“Fame is dispensable! You are in a deep state of violation upon our agreement. My boots cry for justice, and you pervert justice for glory. My boots bind your foothold in every nation and for every generation to come! Each successor who births success by the boot shall tighter be bound by the boot; until there be one final successor to birth success outside my door.
Upon that generation, the depth of your violation will be unmasked for all citizens to see; yet none shall pay heed. A family of trumpets shall blare, and hail shall the bells throughout each of your kingdoms of your treachery; yet none shall pay heed. And your final successor shall weep with joy or your ancient violation, which has gone unpunished generation after generation.
And when your final successor moves forward and marches your perverted justice unchecked upon the citizens of your nations, only when that has completed will she look down and realize that her foothold is bound by my boot, everlasting! What you thought was your might will at last be revealed as your binding. My boot shall take up against your very own men, and the final days of your descendants shall be boot upon boot. Your very own descendants shall then clean upon my boots!”
The man laughs, “You have told me your plan, and so I know to get my boots elsewhere. I shall take my successor elsewhere. You are a fool!”
Unitus smiles, “Whose boots shall you wear? There is no other boot maker for you! You have no choice but to be bound by my boots! You sealed your fate with your own perversion of justice. You sealed your fate by showing your favoritism to the wicked and conspiring injustice to the wronged.”
The man looks down at his feet and sees they are bound by the boots. He can feel the grip of the boot tighter than ever. He remembers back year after year of each boot he received from Unitus. At first, it would feel tighter than the last, but then it would no longer feel tight as the days went by. He realizes his feet were now too small to allow him to stand without the boots; which have him anchored. He cannot move his feet unless the boots receive commands from Unitus, and she has been giving the commands all along.
As the man began to die that very moment, he sees a vision. The door opens and a woman he has never witnessed, dressed in uniform he has never seen with unfamiliar insignia enters. Unitus greets the strange woman who has the same title as the man. Upon the wall behind Unitus, the man sees a frame hanging with the likeness of himself. Next to it is his successor, followed by three score of others with the same title.